- You're welcome Jennifer(s)!!!

I'm sorry, I gotta write this one in English, let's face it: not that many people read me and most of you Spanish readers can understand it. Save your e-mails, this won't become a blog in English, it's just this time...
It's time to reveal why lots of world-famous couples owe ME big time.

It all began in june 2003, when my favourite song was the remix of 'Ignition' by R.Kelly, the first day I arrived in Prague. I was alone drinking an excellent glass of beer in the street, when I heard some Mexicans. I didn't know what to do that night, so I instantly talked to them: they wanted to go to La Bodeguita del Medio for a drink.
At first I really didn't want to go: what's the point of being Latin and going to a Cuban restaurant that I've visited many times back in Mexico City when I am in Prague??? Fortunately, my loneliness pushed me to go with them.
Little did I know then that my decision would change the lifes of the most famous celebrities of that moment, and would impact positively the pockets of hundreds of tabloids, media and paparazzi around the world. [You people owe me big time too - You're welcome bastards!].

Anyway, while sipping a nice mojito in Prague (!), one of the Mexican girls said all of a sudden: Hey, is that Matt Damon???
We turned to see the table beside us, and before we could say anything she'd already moved to ask with the strongest Spanish accent I'd ever heard: "Essquius me, what is yur naim?"
The guy turned and replied "Matt".
- "Mat Daymonn?"
He laughed and said: "Matt Damon".

I instantly knew I HAD to have a picture taken. Nobody would believe my story if I didn't have the pic to prove it. So I grabbed my camera and - followed by the crowd of Mexicans - approached him. More or less, here's the dialogue:
- Matt, you probably get this all the time, but I'm Mexican and I really have to have a pic taken with you, otherwise nobody will believe I met you.
- Sure, no problem, can I have a cigarette?
- Of course. [I opened my Marlboro light packet]
- Thanks, and another for my friend? [Bald fat friend takes a cig] So, what are you doing here in Prague?
- I'm starting summer school at the University of Economics next monday, what are YOU doing here?
- Sounds very interesting...I'm filming a movie.
- That sounds interesting. By the way, I loved 'Dogma'.
- Thank you, where did you say you're from?
- Mexico. I'm from Mexico. Matt you gotta ask your friend Ben to stop dating Jennifer Lopez. She's no good for him, and that's what friends are for. You gotta advise him.
- [Laughing] Yeah, I guess you're right, I will tell him.
- And if anybody ever asks if you're friends with a Mexican guy you met in Prague, say yes.
- I will.
Here's the pic.

The next day, at an internet café I loved called the Bohemian Bagel, I met two Canadian girls who even offered to buy the packet of cigarettes from me. Pretty wild. I gave it to them for free.

Months later, back in sunny Mexico, one day I turned the TV to watch E! News. They were saying that 'Bennifer' was over because Matt had advised his old friend Ben (Affleck) to reconsider his relationship with J-Lo.

Now you know how this all began. Now you know the mind behid the famous people in Hollywood. Check dates. It all coincides. Many people don't believe me, but fortunately there were many Mexicans around me who witnessed that it was me the one who made it all happen through my old friend Matt.
He was recently in Mexico City to promote The Bourne Ultimatum and much as I'd have liked to, I couldn't give him a call. He didn't call me because he saw the picture above and was a bit upset about me looking way hotter than him.

Nowadays Ben Affleck is happy together with Jennifer Garner, and I think they even have a son or a daughter.
Jennifer Lopez is now happy together with Marc Anthony. I'll probably never watch 'El Cantante' though.
Dayanara Torres, Marc's ex-wife is now single (an proud). I saw her recently at the Miss Universe contest: she's absolutely stunning. I felt happy of having helped that beautiful woman get rid of Skeletor. I mean, Marc Anthony.

Well, it was about time everybody knew. And now if you excuse me, I gotta go make Katie break up with Tom.